Thursday, May 31, 2012

Second Chances...


Memorial Day weekend...this was the date our family chose to meet my father for the very 1st time.  The weekend went nicer than I anticipated...even if my 2 year-old persona showed up uninvited.  



Our family arrived in Cincinnati, Ohio on Friday around 6:30pm.  After checking in our hotel room we decided to go to dinner first, before meeting up with the man behind the voice I've been conversing with for 2 months now.  After dinner, we returned to the hotel to wait for him in the lobby.  I waited for a bit, but became slightly anxious just sitting around with nothing to do.  So, I decided to go up to the room and check my email.  Five minutes later my daughter Sierra knocked on the room door to alert me that he had finally arrived.  When I came downstairs and saw this tall figure standing amongst my husband, son and daughter...all time froze.  It was as if the air was moving my feet closer to where they were standing, instead of me actually walking.  Once I was face to face with him I said "Hello."  Then just like that!...I reverted back to into a 2 year-old little girl who just wanted to hide behind her mother's leg.  I literally went into my shell and shied away.  He said something, but anything said to me at that particular moment would have sounded like Chinese.  We hugged briefly, although I don't remember reaching out to receive his embrace.  

Later, he took us on a tour of downtown Cincinnati.  I was really impressed!  The downtown area was quite large and the night life was very festive.  We drove right over a bridge into the state of Kentucky (which I had no idea was that close by) and viewed the Cincinnati skyline.  We also had a chance to catch some fireworks.  I guess the fireworks were to celebrate kicking off the baseball season for the Cincinnati Reds.  We all chatted for a bit, but my 2year-old persona was still alive & present.  Thus, I made sure it was a group conversation the entire night.

The next day was the BBQ and the crowd was small.  I was happy about this.  Everything was laid out very nicely & it was obvious that he went all out to welcome us into the family.  The food was great!  All of the BBQ was cooked by him and ALL OF the HOMEMADE sides were cooked by the family members who attended.  Mmm...  However, just like the night before, I proceeded to sit, and chat with everyone else except him.  We kinda chatted a little bit towards the end of the night.  In a brief private moment between us he said "I thought that since we've spoken on the phone quite a bit that you would have been a little more receptive and talkative."  I was like hmm...yeah me too.  lol 

This weekend was an outer body experience, only thing is I didn't die and come back to life.  It felt like it though.  As soon as I met him I started shying away and this continued until we said our goodbyes. 
Maybe, I'm still too overwhelmed to know what to feel.  Although I didn't spend much time with him this visit at least the awkward moment of the 1st meeting is out the way.  Here's the thing, I only know how to be a daughter to a mother and am trying to figure out how to be a daughter to a father.  Maybe the second time around will be more of a bonding experience for the both of us.  What do you think?  I believe in second chances...what about you? 



Him & I







Us again





My son Isaiah & the Hubster (This is a truly a Kodak moment because they dislike taking pics)



 





My new found family & me!


14 comments:

  1. Tears filled my eyes as i was reading your post.. This is really wonderful..This are the type of moments one won't forget so easily in her life time..I'm so happy for you girl..I can see happiness in all your faces..

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  2. Hey cuzzo, you have been like a little sister to me my whole life. We have shared a lot of moments together and have known and loved the same people for forever-This thing that happened with you and your dad is truly a blessing-I know it was sureal to finally get the thing you once dreamed of every night and now to see him in the flesh was probably very over whelming.

    I am praying for you to come to grips with the realization and to find peace in the co-existance made possible through only Jesus for this second chance. The thing about second chances, is that they are suppose to allow the vision that was blurred by the 1st chance to be rectified and new beginings made with a more prosperous, and positive outcome-

    The love that only you(and your family) can provide is something that was obviously missing from this mans life. What a testimony to the love of God that you both have this opportunity to love each other in a way that the missed years could not deny..So happy for you!

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  3. Thank you May. It was a truly memorable moment indeed! Hopefully, there will be more to follow.

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  4. @Iris...thank you so much for your heart felt words Cousin. I'm pretty sure over time our relationship will improve. You're right too...only through God's love was this opportunity possible. I promise to embrace it slowly and appreciate all time spent getting to know each other. Peace & Blessings unto you always.

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  5. Oh, Sonya, that's such a touching story. You are so brave to share it on your blog - me - I'm so private I find it hard to open up.

    I hope things work out well between you and your father. I imagine it is hard to be a daughter to him after such a long absence.

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  6. Thank you Pat! Yes it is, but hopefully things will work out for the best. LOL! I am sort of a private person as well. However, I find it easier to share some of my experiences on a blog than to post them on FB or Twitter. I like to think of my blog as my online diary and only the people that either A) sincerely care about me or B) like what I do & who I am, will be the ones who read it. So, far this works for me because I have a handful of followers that fall into either category or both. These are the people who read my post along with maybe a few stragglers. ...and I'm fine with that.

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  7. I love the pictures. This was very sweet. He looks happy and proud to be sitting beside you. I am sure your 2 year old persona was just momentarily overwhelmed. I see a loving father in your future.

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  8. Aww...thank you! Hopefully, that little girl has settled down for a long nap. LOL I believe the future holds promise. :o}

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  9. I adore you even more after this..is this possible. this was quite an emotional post to read as i can be and have been quite unforgiving of my dad but you have made think twice about my own situation. Go brave, we only have one life. Mistakes make us who we are and if lessons learnt from them makes us a better human being then bring on second chances. I am off to mend my bridge. Much love Sonya and tight hugs as always.ps i could so do with some of that food....yummmy.

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  10. Wow. Just looking at the photo of you two together, how he looks at you in such an adoring way. I'm sure as the two of you get to know one another, things will be less awkward. I'm happy for you both.

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  11. Aww...Cheslea thank you! Your words are too kind. I pray that you and your Dad can start a new beginning. Let me know how it goes. Yes, we do only have one life and we need to live each day as if it were our last. Few regrets & full of life!

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  12. Thank you Wilma Jean. I hope so, this awkward stage is for the birds. LOL!

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  13. I've read this post several times and each time, I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. We serve a God of restoration who is too wise to make a mistake. If ever there was a divinely ordained appointment, this is one.

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  14. You know what?...I do too. :o} I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I'm learning not to question his plans. Coming around to embracing the "now" and forgetting about the past.

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